Passively living your life is dangerous. Maybe you already know too well how that is, maybe not. Perhaps you have to fulfill some conditions so you can move towards your goals of living independently…and free. That’s a good direction.
On the other hand, it might seem you already have it all. This may be worse. If you have everything—especially if you didn’t earn it—you may be deprived of the very basic human capability to thrive.
In any case, there’s only one thing you can control: yourself. Regardless of your circumstances. Maybe you just had no idea.
We drove to where the wake was held. We were laughing upon getting there. But as we got out of the car, we felt the gloom that was in the air. “We’re here,” I sighed.
Someone’s passed away again. There have been two deaths within this year, I thought.
While we were staying on the final night, listening to the eulogy and talking to friends, it hit me just how huge the impact of the idea of death on one’s life can be. Thoughts on death ensued in my head.
I’d contend that our self-esteem becomes strongest when we’re alone working towards our grand goals. It always seems to ask us what we’re actually made of in finishing even just a single task.
It sucks sometimes. Do we work best when we’re alone?
Anyway, understanding how to overcome low self-esteem entails understanding how it starts in the first place. There are things we tend to forget whenever we feel down, worthless … the downward spiral and all that.
Who doesn’t want respect? Whoever you are, you’d want—or need—respect, in one way or another. It doesn’t really matter whether you’re a “someone” in a semipolitical culture, or the new kid on the block … far, far away from home.
People will either respect you or not.
When everything seems irreversibly wrong, however, especially when you find yourself alone, do you still know how to respect yourself? Like, when the people you used to trust turned their back on you? Or—they simply showed you who they really are, only different from how you’ve known them?
Sometimes, facing criticism is simply hard.
The very first criticisms you’ve ever heard might’ve been alright, but as you get older, as your responsibilities abound, as the day gets longer, criticisms could just wear you out. The message may be well-intended, but you begin to notice the tone that message is delivered with, and then you think—quite differently—about the person who says it.
The good news, however, is you can learn how to deal with criticism like a boss. Even if generally, criticisms bear the red flag. Even if they’re vague. Even if they’re ridiculous. Who wants criticism? Who wants to be criticized? Who loves critical people?
“You can have all the tools in the world but if you don’t genuinely believe in yourself, it’s useless.” – Ken Jeong
Do you still know how to believe in yourself, especially when the tough gets going?
Let’s pretend that you’d like to learn how to play the guitar.
And that you’re only 12 years old.
You start looking for and watching videos of your favorite rock, or jazz, or classical, guitarists. You start imitating them. You get dumbfounded by their skills, and there will be days you’ll just put your earphones on and daydream you were them, song after song—for minutes, if not for hours.
A lot of people simply don’t know how to stop negative thoughts from coming in. What amazes me, however, is even more people don’t know why they should stop negative thoughts in the first place.
The world offers so much for us to discover. Circumstances happen to us for great reasons—think personal growth! So many things can catch us by surprise, with which we can simply manifest joy and gratitude.
Yet, at times, we allow negative thoughts to win.
Amazing how we just give in to them, isn’t it?
But I have good news for you: We can learn how to stop negative thoughts—with a bit of patience, persistence and practice.
You may not be aware of it. It may be something you wouldn’t really bother to know.
But what does having low emotional intelligence imply? Does having it mean disaster?
Do you always seem to make predictions how things will turn out? Let’s dig a bit deeper—do you predict only the bad outcomes?
If you consistently do, then anxiety may already be taking over you.
You see, anxiety is when you think, or feel, that something bad is going to happen. This anxiety may yield fear, worry, panic or nervousness. And when you allow these to take charge, you’ll be left paralyzed, being stopped from realizing your everyday purpose.
Don’t you wish you knew exactly how to compartmentalize—your thoughts, emotions, even your stuff? Well, putting your stuff in shelves is for another discussion, for I’ll be talking about compartmentalizing what we think of in our everyday life.
It sure can be difficult, can’t it? Imagine going through a difficult challenge in your life right now—job-hunting, breaking up with your lover or going through a natural calamity—and yet you must still be able to handle your daily routine as if none of those is happening.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying you should suppress your emotions. I’ll never do that myself. But I know there’s a time to reflect and think about things. Learning how to compartmentalize means knowing how to manage yourself such that you still get to do what needs to get done. Not knowing how to compartmentalize may mean serious trouble for you in the long run—you might daydream, find yourself worrying too much over something small or get anxious over your bills which are due in two weeks—all throughout the day (and almost every day).