Insecurity comes in many forms and with different causes. Each of us lives differently, on our own, and we’re simply exposed to different environments which could be a stimulus in one way or another for any type of insecurity.
There are plenty of facets in which insecure people struggle. All of which may generally fall under career, relationships, health, spirituality or personality.
For example, you may be insecure about your career because for a long time you’ve been waiting for the promotion, or a raise, but it seems that nothing is going to change soon. Or you may not feel so confident with your significant other because you think you’re not the type who’s worth keeping. Health is wealth, but you may be fearful you couldn’t afford keeping up with good health. You may also be unsure about your spiritual beliefs and because of that, you study any materials you can lay your hands on. Do you hate some of your mannerisms? Would you consider them as a source of your insecurities?
Insecure people have their own reasons. Insecurity may not necessarily be an everyday problem, but you already know how it may feel like. Your surroundings may remind you of your issues. You may put your insecurities aside for some time, but they seem to have already been imprinted in you. A slight hint and you affirm you’re an insecure person.
Read on to learn about what insecure people don’t let go of.
A study showed that people who manifested self-doubt gained higher scores on a measure of materialism. They would believe that the success of a person would depend on what they possessed.
Insecure people tend to use materialistic possessions as a gauge of their success. They want to buy a big house or an expensive car and treat them as a proof of their success. This acquisition of material possessions becomes a coping mechanism for someone who has low self-esteem and self-worth, and as the study suggested, it’s a poor coping action.
Basing your security on material wealth or convenience may veer you off from the true anxieties you have to deal with.
It may be true that satisfying your materialistic cravings is an achieved goal you have set only to prove a point with yourself, but you still have to review your goals. Does it truly meet your goals? Do you find purpose in achieving it?
Being able to buy anything you want can bring you joy; you can’t deny that. But settling your greatest challenges in life and finding peace with yourself will always be more fulfilling than anything else.
Insecure people think low of themselves, and since they can be harmfully affected by the positive vibrations they see in other people, they’ll tend to rather get the attention of those people. They’ll perceive the attention from others as a booster they can never generate by themselves. To insecure people, attention becomes an assertion that even though they don’t have the self-confidence, other people would approve of their “confidence,” thus insecure people will lean to believe that theirs are indeed supercharged.
A recent study found that people with low self-esteem are more likely to post their relationship status on the largest social media site, Facebook. People from the sample used the “relationship status” feature to get attention and distract themselves from their negative feelings.
Insecure people have, at one point in their life, given up on something very important to them. They have stopped looking on the other side of all their troubles, and as humans need to interact with each another, they started to base their own self-worth on how others see it. And you know how it becomes a problem: when insecure people don’t get exactly what they want, they crash and burn.
Now you may truly be a qualified employee, businessman, spouse or individual in general, but when you let your insecurities win, you may simply raise the bar to unreasonably shut the world out. Your ego may show up in the wrong circumstances, but always watch out for it regardless of the situation, much more if you are actually a superior to others.
Research actually found that insecure managers feel that employee suggestions are negative or personal attacks which root in their incompetence. This was a surprising finding because even though managers have the reputation of having good educational background, credentials and skills, they don’t let their ego be threatened in any way, though usually only in their mind, and as a result, they avoid any suggestions or worse, they punish those who speak up.
Do you let your ego rule over your decisions? Or do you simply let it go, with a mindset that if such suggestions won’t help the others, they could help you?
Perhaps it’s about time you thought about why you’re still living in your insecurities. You may already be getting a good deal of helpful advice but you only don’t accept them. Perhaps everybody already sees a noticeable trait of yours; in fact, you may also notice they already do, but you’re only avoiding to talk about it. Simply discussing it may be inappropriate, of course, but have you at least considered talking about it with someone you trust?
Think About It
Those are only superficial. They may matter to you but try thinking outside of the box and contemplate whether they’re indeed important. Do you need them because they could help you or others in any way? Or do you only want them to reinforce the thought that you never really want to leave your comfort zone?
Prioritizing your short-term convenience at the expense of your life goals may slow you down or worse, stop you and turn you to the opposite direction.
Keep in mind that life is meant to be lived, however differently. (We’re all different, living different lifestyles, after all.) But you have to make sure that everything you do is for the realization of your long-term goals. Working for those goals may be hard, but sometimes, you won’t create the habits, mold the right attitude or create the character you’ve only wished for, without the tough times.
And when you understand that continuously learning and moving forward are a simple edge over insecure people, you’ll be more confident with yourself; insecurity won’t bother you anymore!
Speak Your Mind
Are you an insecure type of person? Which among those three points do you find hard to let go? How do you manage your insecurities? Tell us what you think on the comments section below!