Imagine a creature that wakes up every day to do nothing but gossip about you, try to destroy your reputation, and put you down at every chance they get…in general. Wouldn’t it be so satisfying to punch them in the face, yell at them until your soul breaks loose, and counterattack with each attack they’ve made and so much more?
Did you find that upsetting? I’ve been there. I’ve been that angry in my life. But I can say I’m not that angry anymore at this point…
Anger is a powerful emotion. So powerful that if you’re not careful about the actions you take while it’s clouding your mind, you could suffer unbelievably terrible consequences for the rest of your life.
If you get emotionally attached to the most trivial things, then you’re probably doing something that’s not really worth pursuing. Not dreaming big enough? Your goals aren’t huge enough? Of course I wouldn’t know. And am I being harsh here? Well, don’t worry. The truth is that there are a lot of things—in each aspect of your life—you can be emotionally attached to. In this article, however, I want to talk about work.
There are two kinds of emotional detachment.
One is the pathological kind in which nature and nurture are in play. Say you’ve been raised in a tough environment that required you to suppress whatever emotions you were having. This condition has developed over a long period of time and is only a consequence of living or being maltreated that way.
Do you remember the times when you had the choice of doing the right, or rather productive, thing? However you had these couple of other things to do that were, well, really convenient…and then you decided to just go for those “alternatives” just so you could feel you were being productive?
Don’t get me wrong, though. I’m not talking about the productive stuff only. Even though apparently this topic has been written about to death, this law doesn’t cover productivity only.
Parkinson’s Law could be the only thing that’s destroying your life right now. Because everything can be Parkinsoned. Including the “downtimes” that well complement your “uptimes.” (I’ll talk about this later.)
Remember that person you respect? That person you look up to because at some point in her life she had to go through a ton of obstacles, for so many years, having to experience even pain you could only imagine happening to yourself, but she still managed to do the right thing, even though everybody thought it was hopeless? Perhaps that’s the epitome of something that deserves the hat tip while you utter, “Respect.”
On the other hand, I bet you can also name someone who had everything at their disposal, in their power, to destroy someone—however “destroy” meant—but they had the choice of not doing it because, hey, that’s just morally wrong now, isn’t it? But then, they still went on with the stupid and pointless attack? Well, how did you feel about that? Did that person earn your respect?
Ain’t it just a bitch to deal with those toxic people? You know, people that grind your gear? People that just don’t know how to be positive even just on that really short moment you share with them? But…if you usually sound like that (in your head, hopefully) then let me tell you that you are a toxic creature, too.
Oxford Dictionaries has chosen “toxic” as the word of the year for 2018. Last time I checked, “toxic” is used for poisonous substances. Nowadays, however, anything—or anyone—can be toxic, even as literally as poison.
Are you tired of being negative all your life? Have you been trying to change some important people because it’s not only good for them, but also for the love of God, good for you, too? Do you cringe whenever people talk about how you should be damn positive all the time? Well, here’s another positive post for you!
What’s interesting about this positivity and negativity circus is that the very bane of it is that you don’t know which is positive and otherwise. Especially if you’ve been raised by negative people or those that claim that they’re simply being “realistic.” What the hell does realistic even mean? Does being realistic mean treating this world as if it’s a rotten and hopeless world filled with people born without a purpose but to be your exclusive cause of misery? Am I being negative here or edgy or what? Hey, Ethan, this is supposed to be a positive post!
To say you feel like nothing’s happening in your life does not make sense. You might say, “Well, that’s rich, smart-ass. I know nothing’s happening.” But have you considered the possibility that it’s only you who thinks that? That it isn’t an objective truth you’re making it to be? Well, that’s a good start.
That you feel that way might only be the result of a few (or many) events that seemed to have connived to lead you to believe that indeed, you’re just a piece of nothing.
Here are seven things I want you to remember if somehow you’re caught in this “unmistakable” situation.
There’s no way you can remove stress from your life. You won’t be able to get rid of all of your stressors, all the time. If you think you’ve been “failing” on that part—on not being capable of avoiding the ever-present nuisance that is stress—perhaps you’ve only been dealing with it the wrong way.
It sucks. But the good news is that there are healthy ways to deal with stress.
Not All Stress Is Bad
It’s an evolutionary fact that stress yields the fight-or-flight response. In other words, stress makes us uncomfortable—sometimes sweaty-much uncomfortable—just so we could get out of our zone to think of solutions for a potentially dangerous situation.
Have you been a lazy piece of gumball all your life? Are you the neurotic type that tends to sleep late at night…because you simply (and badly) need yourself entertained? Have you found the job you somehow don’t dislike at all but find it hard to get to work when it’s time to?
If you answered yes to all these questions, then yay, believe it or not, I used to be just like you—and sometimes still am. Even though I can tell I’ve changed a lot after deciding to take control of my life, I can’t fight the occasional relapse.
Passively living your life is dangerous. Maybe you already know too well how that is, maybe not. Perhaps you have to fulfill some conditions so you can move towards your goals of living independently…and free. That’s a good direction.
On the other hand, it might seem you already have it all. This may be worse. If you have everything—especially if you didn’t earn it—you may be deprived of the very basic human capability to thrive.
In any case, there’s only one thing you can control: yourself. Regardless of your circumstances. Maybe you just had no idea.